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Overcoming Incomprehensible Demoralization in Recovery

Overcoming Incomprehensible Demoralization in Recovery

If you've just clicked on this article and begun reading, we congratulate you on getting over your fear of very big words in blog titles. And that is quite an accomplishment! But really, we want to talk for a moment about those two lurking words that have probably bothered you since your second day in rehab: incomprehensible demoralization.

What does it mean? Simply put, it means that in our addictions we have stooped far below the place we ever thought we would just to obtain our substance of choice and be able to use it whenever we wanted. We compromised our morals to continue feeding our addictions. As our addiction grew, our morals continually declined more than we ever thought would be possible.

They say that our drug of choice is cunning, baffling, and powerful as it draws us toward it, and incomprehensible demoralization is the driving force that is baffling. We will compromise what we believe in to growing degrees as we continue to pursue our next fix. Where once we were honest and believed in good, we now lie, cheat, and steal just to maintain our addiction.

This is where most of us have gotten ourselves into legal trouble, damaged relationships, become indebted to others, and generally made an all-around mess of our lives. When we come into recovery, incomprehensible demoralization is also why we feel the most guilt. And this guilt is one of the biggest reasons that we relapse back into our disease.

At this point in your recovery, you’ve probably been introduced to recovery meetings and become familiar with the 12 steps and how they work. Prior to the development of the 12 steps, there was not a simple solution to resolve the guilt, anger, and other emotional roadblocks that we face in early recovery. These feelings overpower us, and we often don’t understand or accept them. Often, we just want to dissolve them, and our addiction was how we handled that. Now in recovery, we must find alternative solutions to our emotional upsets.

All 12 of the steps work together in some manner to help us handle and resolve our emotional burdens. Specifically however, restoring our moral integrity is dealt with in steps four through ten. Simply, these steps direct us to determine our moral shortcomings, recognize them and take responsibility for them, be willing to do the work necessary on ourselves to remove them, and to continue the cycle as necessary.

With our moral integrity restored, we no longer feel the guilt and shame associated with our addictions. We can once again walk with our head held high and be proud of our character. Others will respect us instead of judge us, and we will begin to experience the 12-step promises unfold in our lives.

Chateau Recovery is committed to helping you achieve your goals in recovery. We offer a supportive and nurturing environment where you can begin your recovery and work through the 12 steps in order to achieve the recovery you desire. To get started today, call us at (800) 379-4401 or contact us through the form on this page.

Chateau Recovery on

Chateau Recovery on

Our sincere and heartfelt thanks to for the glowing review of Chateau Recovery Sober Living Homes. We couldn't be more pleased!

On August 19, 2016, posted a fantastic review of us on their website. Their review perfectly captures the services and even the spirit of Chateau Recovery Sober Living. "...Allowing residents a chance to build a foundation in recovery is crucial to maintaining life long abstinence from drugs and alcohol."

"Chateau Recovery boasts a high end yet highly nurturing setting for men and women in early recovery. The exquisite houses are perfect for clients seeking safe and structured sober living in the heart of West Hollywood."

Read the full review on

Why its Important to Carry the Message in Our Recovery

Why its Important to Carry the Message in Our Recovery

The 12th step of the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous states, "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all of our affairs."

What this means is that as a result of our recovery, we now understand that our beliefs have changed when it comes to our addictions. We now believe that our addiction is a problem and not the solution to our problems. To help keep us grounded, we focus our efforts on the needs of those around us. We take our message to those who still suffer, and we continue to do so as we practice what we have learned in our recovery.

In recovery, we talk about being of service. We talk about taking committments. The main reason we do this is to focus on things outside of ourselves. In our active addictions, we became very self-centered. We focused on our own needs and desires. We focused on nothing other than obtaining our next fix. By being of service to others, we begin to focus on the others around us. We begin to focus on the needs and desires of others rather than our own. Many times, it will also help us put our own problems into perspective and remove the self-centeredness that still plagues us.

In the Big Book, there are several mentions of a spiritual awakening in recovery. Our spiritual awakening is the beginning of our understanding of our purposes in life. It is the realization that we need connection with others in order to be whole and complete. As humans, we were never meant to be alone. While some of us appreciate and thrive through some alone time, it is through our relationships with others that we grow and succeed. Addiction removes our spiritual awareness and connection and stunts our personal growth. By serving others, we build and maintain those connections and foster necessary growth.

Twelve-step groups do not advertise. Most, if not all of them focus on attraction rather than promotion. However, it does take a good friend to approach us when our addictions have taken hold. Once we realize that we have a problem, it is others that help guide us to recovery. In early recovery, you will have a sponsor. However, that won't always be the case. While you should always have a sponsor, someday you should also be a sponsor. In doing so, you carry the message to the next generation of people coming into recovery. This serves a purpose in your life as well as that of your sponsee. For you, it helps solidify what you've learned in recovery and continue to practice those principles.

All of this works together in beautiful harmony to not only make us better people in recovery, but also to encourage others in their recovery as well. No addiction treatment method is perfect but in this principle, twelve-step philosophy pretty well has it covered. In early recovery, we make ourselves available to others and we make committments that we follow through on. We realize our spiritual awakening and we embrace it, growing personally in the process. And finally, we take what we've learned and we share it with others. In doing so, we not only confirm what we've learned but we help others learn it as well. It does work, which is why its become a part of the most effective and successful recovery method in history.

At Chateau Recovery, we have numerous opportunities for you to be of service to others and to help carry the message to the addict who still suffers. We'd love the opportunity to talk to you about how it works and how you can be a part of this amazing journey of personal growth. Give us a call today at (800) 379-4401 or fill out the contact form on this page to get started!

What Does Successful Recovery Look Like?

What Does Successful Recovery Look Like?

When we talk about successful recovery, many people often think that it is merely abstinence from mind-altering substances. The reality is though, that successful recovery goes far beyond just not drinking or using drugs. Successful recovery involves a mind-body-spirit approach that can't even begin until the drugs and alcohol are long gone.

For those of us that find ourselves addicted to a substance, we've become addicted because we didn't like how we felt when we were sober. That drink or drug changed everything for us - putting us in a place where we finally felt comfortable in our own skin. Without a doubt, those negative feelings and emotions will return once we get clean and sober. To keep from relapsing, we will need to face those negative feelings and emotions head on to truly be successful in our recovery efforts.

Healing our minds

The healing of our minds begins with the emotional traumas that we've faced that bring on our negative feelings and emotions. Perhaps it was emotional trauma such as abuse, neglect, or abandonment. It could even be a traumatic event that occured that caused some form of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It is never a good idea to handle emotional trauma on your own. It is always best to seek professional help to work out the issues that have caused the trauma in the first place. Speaking freely with a licenced counselor will help you understand the process of the events that occured and release the responsibility you feel for these events.

Its important to realize though, that you cannot do these things on your own. You need direction, accountability, and even supervision to make sure that what you are doing is correct, safe, and productive in your recovery. It may start with your sponsor, but your sponsor may recommend counseling as well. If you went through a treatment center, you most likely saw a doctor, psychiatrist, therapist, or all three. It is important to your mental health to remain seeing these professionals as long as they deem necessary. Once you leave treatment, your recovery journey has only just begun. It will take months, years, or even a lifetime of personal growth to continue your success in recovery.

Healing our bodies

Our physical and mental health are so closely tied to each other that it is impossible to address one and not the other. When you stop drinking or using drugs, your body will immediately begin to heal itself from the damage. However, to continue on the healing path, you must focus on healthy diet, exercise, and regulating sleep patterns. When you aren't physically feeling your best, your emotions run higher and its difficult to see things from a healthy perspective. When you are tired from lack of sleep, you are more apt to make poor decisions.

In recovery, we are taught to take care of our own needs first, and then help others. While it sounds selfish, the analogy of the airplane oxygen mask is used to explain. If you are on an airplane and the oxygen masks are released from the ceiling, place the mask on yourself first before helping others with their masks. The reasoning is because if our own needs for oxygen aren't met, then we will quickly pass out and be useless in the quest to help others. It is the same with recovery. While the effects may not be as immediate, you will not be nearly as effective in helping others if you do not first ensure that your own physical needs have been met.

Healing our spirits

Our spirits are perhaps the most overlooked when it comes to personal recovery. However, it is arguably the most important. When we speak about our spirits, we are referring to everything from our interpersonal relationships with others to our concept of a higher power and the strength he, she, or it brings us.

No matter what your beliefs are, we are social and relational beings; we need meaningful interaction with others to survive and thrive. Countless scientific studies have shown this time and time again without fail...we need other people in our lives to be happy, healthy, and successful. The problem is, most of us have deeply hurt our loved ones in our addictions. In recovery, we need to make amends to those people that we have hurt.

This is also a huge reason why we relapse, as well as the main purpose of the fourth, eighth, and ninth steps of 12-step programs. It is very important to make direct amends where possible, and to make living amends everywhere else. You can read more about the process for making amends in the sixth chapter of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Your sponsor is also a good source of information regarding the 12 steps, and if you don't have one yet it is highly recommended that you begin looking for one right away.

As for our concept of a higher power, many people will choose God as their higher power. However, the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous clearly states that this is not a requirement in the program. Chapter four of the big book speaks directly to this fact. If you don't believe in God as your higher power, you can choose the higher power of your own belief. Whatever the case may be, we are clear through the 12 steps that we are not in control of what happens outside of our own behavior. Something else is in control. Whatever you believe is in control of the universe is your higher power. To remain spiritually healthy, you need to find your connection to that higher power and understand your relationship to it.

So you can see, it is so much more important to look beyond the addiction itself and see the underlying causes of our emotional and spiritual issues. As addicts and alcoholics, we self-medicate to remove the emotional pain that we face. If we remove that "medication", we do not solve the root cause. In fact, its quite the opposite - we free those issues up for the world to see. We can't ignore them.

The 12 steps are designed to start the process, but they also only scratch the surface. If you're new in recovery then you may understand...treatment, sober living, sponsors, the 12 steps: all of it is designed to start you on your journey but its up to you to keep on that journey for the rest of your life. As you do, the promises of Alcoholics Anonymous will be granted you. You'll be happier, healthier, and more successful than you've ever known in your life. And at that point, you'll truly know that you are successfully in recovery.

Chateau Recovery does not provide addiction treatment; we offer upscale sober living at a reasonable rate in the heart of West Hollywood. If you have completed a treatment program and are looking for sober living, give us a call today to schedule a tour.

(800) 379-4401

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